T H U R S D A Y

assalamualaikum.

raya celebration earlier in school make me feel "oooohh. it's been a long time since I heard raya songs" It deeply touched my heart. it make me miss her more. grandma... we miss you, raya this year and years from now won't be complete without you. you've been the one who always "sapa datang tu.." you've been the person... that I loved the most. I might not be that good and manner grandchildren, I might act cold towards you but that doesn't mean that I dislike you, grandma. behind those feeling, i know that I loved you. it's not what you called hatred, it's more towards jealousy.

I appreciated for what you have done. I still remember and will always remember, you were the one who walked me to school after I had chickenpox. you were the one who always mad "mana lagi barang sekolah mu ane? di baginya kawan nya ne" you were the one who bathed me after I had my first period, you were the one who taught me how to break an egg, you were the one grandma...

just before you went hospitalized, you asked me to help you with your cooking. I'm grateful and glad... now I remember, I helped you with those stuffs after I got mad... that pleased me... :') thank you grandma, you have such kind heart...

I thought you were still here. Looking at your bed, I feel your presence, it feel like you were watching us. everything in this house reminds me of you. the kitchen, your room, - everything. it makes me MISS you more.

It feels like yesterday you left us, there come again - thursday. I could reminisce about how I held back my tears back then. I don't want you to feel sad just by looking us like that. you were stronger grandma, you had tried your best to wake up. you had tried to see us, to make things better and to celebrate hari raya. hope came and it was a minute of happiness but we were thankful, thank you Allah :)

30.09.2010